Funeral Mass for Estela Bern Sunday, April 17, 2016

Funeral Mass for Estela Bern
Sunday, April 17, 2016



Opening Song: "Be Not Afraid" (Dufford) # 608

First Reading: Ruth 1: 11, 14-18

But Naomi said, “Return home, my daughters. Why would you come with me? Am I going to have any more sons, who could become your husbands? Return home, my daughters; I am too old to have another husband.” At this they wept aloud again. Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law goodbye, but Ruth clung to her.
“Look,” said Naomi, “your sister-in-law is going back to her people and her gods. Go back with her.”
But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her.

Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 100

We are God’s people, the sheep of God’s pasture.

Second Reading: Ephesians 4:28, 30-32

Do something useful with your hands, so you can have something to share with the needy. Be on your guard against foul talk. Say only what will give grace to your listeners. Don’t grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, all rage and anger, all harsh words, slander and malice of every kind. In place of these, be kind to one another, compassionate and mutually forgiving just as God has forgiven you in Christ.

Alleluia

Gospel Reading: Luke 10:30-37

An expert on the Law stood up to put Jesus to the test and said, “Teacher, what must I do to inherit everlasting life?”
Jesus answered, “What is written in the law? How do you read it?”
The expert on the Law replied: “You must love the Most High God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” Jesus said, “You have answered correctly. Do this and you’ll live.”
But the expert on the Law, seeking self-justification, pressed Jesus further: “And just who is my neighbor?”
Jesus replied, “There was a traveler going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, who fell prey to robbers. The traveler was beaten, stripped naked, and left half-dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road; the priest saw the traveler lying beside the road, but passed by on the other side. Likewise, there was a Levite who came the same way; this one, too, saw the afflicted traveler and passed by on the other.
But a Samaritan, who was taking the same road, also came upon the traveler and, filled with compassion, approached the traveler and dressed the wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then the Samaritan put the wounded person on a donkey, went straight to an inn and there took care of the injured one. The next day the Samaritan took out two silver pieces and gave them to the innkeeper with the request, ‘Look after this person, and if there is any further expense, I’ll repay you on the way back.’
“Which of these three, in our opinion, was the neighbor to the traveler who fell in with the robbers?” The answer came, “The one who showed compassion.” Jesus replied, “Then go and do the same.”

Homily:

Did you see the stars last night? There was a bright moon too. And it was maybe 70 degrees--a perfect spring night. The kind that makes you ponder some of the mysteries of life. Estela means star so she was very much present too.

So, what is the purpose of a star? Some would say, “nothing.” There is no purpose. Others could get very scientific, “It’s a fixed luminous point in the night sky that reminds us of how the world began.” I tried googling the question and found this:

“To illuminate what was and is our present time continuum. You look up and wonder how far back in time you are going. The light that we see from their small and distant glimmer is as old as our galaxy. The stars are beautiful giants that are one million times brighter than our very own small star we call the sun. Stars are there for a purpose and for what reason is yet to be guessed by one of us in this small but wonderful planet we call earth. Yet we look up and praise the wonderful and stupendous sky with its billions of giants. I can only realize that in our small world and our fragile existence we are actually staring at the face of God.”

Pretty good, right? Staring at the face of God. Stars help to reflect the majesty of God and creation. We wish upon a star to help encourage us and give us hope. When someone dies, we often look up to the stars to connect, to remember and to fix our longing on what we can never fully understand. Stars represent mystery, the unknown and the eternal. Perhaps, that is their purpose.

Estela was all that. She was our quiet sage who would sit in her wheelchair here and listen. At the kiss of peace, we would all take turns bending over to give her a hug or a kiss on her cheek. The smile on her face was priceless. She always said, “Thank you so much,” with just a touch of her native Spanish. Little did we know the powerhouse she was under all that charm.

I last saw Estela on Palm Sunday. She was staying at the Mercy Hospice Unit. I got a call from the chaplain who said that Estela told her that I was her pastor. When I arrived, she was in bed. She appeared to be much more frail than when I had last seen her but no less pleased to see me. She smiled and graciously nodded, her usual acknowledgement of me. I gave her some palm branches and stayed for a short time.

Today’s readings were chosen specifically for Estela. Each of them speaks of her and what she valued. In our first reading, we hear the familiar story of Ruth who chooses to stay with Naomi. She would be a foreigner in a strange land but that was less important than her loyalty to her mother-in-law, her devotion to stay and provide support.

Estela knew what it was like to be a stranger in a strange land. She was born in Mexico but came to the United States to become a nurse, graduating in 1946. Like the light from a star, she was way ahead of her time—a woman who knew the value of education. She wanted to develop her skills to help others, stranger or kin, she was devoted to being of service and taught this to her children and grandchildren. It’s no wonder they are the magnificent people they are.

In Ephesians, our second reading, Paul is speaking to a new Christian community, encouraging them in both doctrine and action. There are many “commands” or instructions that are worthy for us all to consider, being kind and compassionate, not letting anger get in the way of forgiveness. Estela’s favorite advice was to make stars out of scars. So simple and yet so profound. When we are wounded, it is natural to build our own defense, to not reach out for fear of further harm. Estela and Paul are insisting that that is not the way of Christ. With God’s grace, we are encouraged to risk, to have courage so that, not only may we heal, but that we transform our pain into something beautiful, something inspiring and full of light.

I do not know all of Estela’s pain in life. But we were able to witness her courage in the face of chronic illness, when aging becomes its own burden. She remained strong even in the face of weakness, cautious at times but never resigned. That’s star-making kind of stuff.

Finally, we hear the story of the Good Samaritan. The one least likely to offer help, the one who others despise and judge as unworthy, the Samaritan, is the hero. He helps without question. And not just a little. He offers compassion to the full extent of his ability. His example is a challenge to us all, to have the courage to care, regardless of expectations.

Estela had that courage, that sense of what is right. She fostered the virtue of being neighborly to all people. Maybe that’s why she fit in at Full Circle so well. Even in her late 90’s, she had no trouble accepting the Roman Catholic Womenpriest movement. My own parents are in their 80’s and they are much less generative, unable to accept my call. But not Estela. She has been fully supportive of women’s rights, perhaps because she herself experienced racism and sexism. With Estela, I never felt judged or questioned. Rather, her kindness and warmth were evident. The fact that she wanted me to do her funeral is a privilege beyond words. Hers is our first funeral here. We’ve had baptisms, confirmations and even a wedding. Now, it seems fitting that Estela brings us full circle. She is our matriarch. The mother of our fledgling little church.

May we honor her best by committing ourselves to her call—to make this world a better place through service, education and faith, faith that comes alive through our care of others: those who are in need, those who are different, those who we least expect to teach us compassion.

Through Estela’s life, we are reminded of the power of love; that God wants to use us as her hands and feet, her voice and her compassion. Just as the monarch butterflies of her homeland flutter forth from their cocoons each and every year to remind us of resurrection and rebirth, may Estela’s life ever remind us of God’s desire for community through service. May we remember Estela as our special star who very much reflected the face of God. Amen.

I now invite her family to come forward to write her name in the Book of Life.

Offertory Song: "The Servant Song" (Gillard) # 669

Communion Song: "You Are Mine" (Haas) # 649

Communion Meditation: At Peace BY AMADO NERVO

(Creator of himself, of his destiny.)

Very near my sunset, I bless you,

Life because you never gave me neither unfilled hope nor unfair work,

nor undeserved sorrow.

Because I see at the end of my rough way

that I was the architect of my own destiny

and if I extracted the sweetness or the bitterness of things

it was because I put the sweetness or the bitterness in them

when I planted rose bushes

I always harvested roses

Certainly, winter is going to follow my youth

But you didn’t tell me that May was eternal

I found without a doubt long my nights of pain

But you didn’t promise me only good nights

And in exchange I had some peaceful ones

I loved, I was loved, the sun caressed my face

Life, you owe me nothing,

Life, we are at peace!

(Written on March 20, 1915.)

Closing Song: "On Eagle's Wings" (Joncas) # 611​